No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
