ugly people sure do ruin things
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
