so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
