if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
