im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
