It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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