So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
