but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize