fuck your aforementioned shoe
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
