Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize