My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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