drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
