I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
