Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
