Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
