He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
