I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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