i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize