i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
