How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
