Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
