Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
