Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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