Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
