Welp...herpes.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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