okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
