He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
