Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
