It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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