textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
