no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
