I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The power of my boobs compel you
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
