All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
