we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
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Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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