before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
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i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
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Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.