ADVERTISEMENT

• (850): View more from Florida

  Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.

  Fav 44 3760 1094

  share tweet
  

• (806): View more from Texas

  If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut

  Fav 21 5164 1427

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one

  Fav 23 1317 11710

  share tweet
  

• (763): View more from Minnesota

  lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...

  Fav 2 1792 2991

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.

  Fav 11 2090 981

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.

  Fav 8 719 1134

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?

  Fav 4 1216 636

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.

  Fav 2 1178 638

  share tweet
  

• (251): View more from Alabama

  My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay

  Fav 4 1081 565

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (530): View more from California

  I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.

  Fav 6 1364 611

  share tweet
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.

  Fav 3 1239 589

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night

  Fav 3 507 813

  share tweet
  

• (517): View more from Michigan

  Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it

  Fav 1 857 523

  share tweet
  

• (417): View more from Missouri

  You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude

  Fav 0 613 624

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm so hungover I can't taste anything

  Fav 0 446 538

  share tweet
  

Randomize