I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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