I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
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He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
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Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We have started to decorate penises.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer