Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.