i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
