check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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