Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize