We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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