I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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