wrigley field is MILF paradise
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
