you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
