dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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