Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
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I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The air was thick with penises
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Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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