gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
