She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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