Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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