You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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