I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
