i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
