I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
