It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
