I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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