Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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