ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
is that a dick in a sweater?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
