You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.