Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me

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  (615): so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me http://tfl.nu/hnft
  Replies (47) Good night (1192) Bad night (2901)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Does God suck his dick?

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  (270): He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God." (1-270): Does God suck his dick? http://tfl.nu/w42a
  Replies (105) Good night (1275) Bad night (5765)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.

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  (501): One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/77ib
  Replies (6) Good night (1083) Bad night (2853)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.

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  (757): I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out. http://tfl.nu/cmh8
  Replies (7) Good night (843) Bad night (2412)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That bitch ruined vodka saturday

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  (651): That bitch ruined vodka saturday http://tfl.nu/2db3
  Replies (6) Good night (667) Bad night (1836)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.

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  (813): You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon. http://tfl.nu/vfo5
  Replies (7) Good night (861) Bad night (1540)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.

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  (815): I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed. http://tfl.nu/jn5l
  Replies (7) Good night (512) Bad night (1859)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.

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  (604): Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas. http://tfl.nu/feay
  Replies (11) Good night (2206) Bad night (594)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...

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  (407): He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on... http://tfl.nu/r90u
  Replies (7) Good night (620) Bad night (1438)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.

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  (819): I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex. http://tfl.nu/mg33
  Replies (8) Good night (2486) Bad night (370)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  How festive

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  (778): 4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee (604): How festive http://tfl.nu/8kx6
  Replies (11) Good night (627) Bad night (1767)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.

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  (727): His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten. http://tfl.nu/7i5j
  Replies (12) Good night (839) Bad night (239)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.

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  (305): I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle. http://tfl.nu/tqe0
  Replies (6) Good night (632) Bad night (230)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.

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  (202): Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball. http://tfl.nu/qe48
  Replies (7) Good night (250) Bad night (676)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it

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  (813): I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it http://tfl.nu/wnc3
  Replies (0) Good night (380) Bad night (221)

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