Texts From Last Night

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  (209): View more from California

  kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.

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  (209): kindergarten is hard when you're hung over. http://tfl.nu/68v6
  Replies (23) Good night (5460) Bad night (1010)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.

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  (954): So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had. http://tfl.nu/ag2c
  Replies (98) Good night (2334) Bad night (23135)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  no one should ever give us hovercrafts

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  (847): no one should ever give us hovercrafts http://tfl.nu/uqn3
  Replies (25) Good night (4613) Bad night (848)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium

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  (254): The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium http://tfl.nu/41rv
  Replies (20) Good night (3482) Bad night (1562)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.

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  (506): I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going. http://tfl.nu/nsuy
  Replies (6) Good night (1039) Bad night (2431)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company

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  (409): Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company http://tfl.nu/2763
  Replies (13) Good night (775) Bad night (2570)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.

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  (425): Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl. http://tfl.nu/yy2b
  Replies (20) Good night (3071) Bad night (1332)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Gonna go for any of them?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.

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  (248): All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go. (269): Gonna go for any of them? (248): Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us. http://tfl.nu/3pp6
  Replies (33) Good night (4873) Bad night (1077)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.

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  (304): The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man. http://tfl.nu/dffi
  Replies (17) Good night (937) Bad night (2605)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.

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  (203): The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/eiym
  Replies (6) Good night (845) Bad night (1861)
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  (562): View more from California

  Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.

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  (562): Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester. http://tfl.nu/c099
  Replies (3) Good night (1699) Bad night (634)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?

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  (419): He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that? http://tfl.nu/13e2
  Replies (11) Good night (642) Bad night (1296)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man

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  (612): buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man http://tfl.nu/4qce
  Replies (4) Good night (498) Bad night (823)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.

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  (305): He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest. http://tfl.nu/byar
  Replies (5) Good night (637) Bad night (341)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....

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  (440): Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire.... http://tfl.nu/lvl5
  Replies (4) Good night (475) Bad night (236)

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