Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
