I will die if light touches me.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.