We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I need moral support for this bender
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
