If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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