he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
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It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
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I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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