He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
