if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
