I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize